Digging up the Past

Today I was chatting with my friend Grey...I asked her what her favorite memory from high school was...she responded immediately...then I asked her what her worst memory from high school was...she said that she couldn't remember because she doesn't remember things like that...she buries the bad stuff so that she doesn't have to remember. It made me wonder...is it bad to dig up the past or should we be leaving things as they lay?

I see a therapist almost every week, and granted we work mainly on "here and now" issues...a lot of what we talk about comes from things that have happened "many moons ago". There are times after a session that I feel more frustrated and confused than when I entered the room the previous hour. It has caused me to wonder whether or not it is such a good idea to worry about things long since past...but then I meet with my therapist again and that frustration and confusion has been turned into resolve and understanding.

For me, digging up the past is the way that I deal with my present and my future. I love to go back and read journal entries from years past to see how I've grown, to see what obstacles I've overcome, to see what I still need to work on. I am a serious journal writer and so I think that I will always want to keep a connection to my past...both the good and the bad. It is how I learn. The scriptures are full of both the good and the bad and they have been written for my "profit and learning".

I have also come to learn that there is a difference between looking to the past/learning from the past and holding on to the past/being caught in the past. I can't regret my past and I can't sit around wishing that this had been different or that had been different. I can acknowledge that poor judgment was used, errors were made, but I can't dwell on those moments other than to glean whatever knowledge I can from them so that I don't make the same mistakes in the future.

So Grey...I will continue to look to the past, but I will do my best to not dwell on it!