"People only see what is visible, measurable. God sees into the heart. He not only forgives our failures, He sees successes where no one else does - not even ourselves. Only God can give us credit for the angry words we did not speak, the temptations we resisted, the patience and gentleness little noticed and long forgotten by those around us. Just being human gives us value in His eyes, and trying to live with integrity makes us successful before Him. God redeems us from the sense and fear of failure because He sees us as no human eyes can see us. Some religions teach that God sees so clearly that He knows all our shameful thoughts and nasty secrets. I prefer to believe that God sees us so clearly that He knows better than anyone else our wounds and sorrows, the scars on our hearts from having wanted to do more and do better, and being told by the world that we never would." ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

25 January 2010

Someday it will end

As I watched the clip from Elder Busche's talk that I have posted on this blog, I was reminded that someday, all of this suffering, all this frustration, all this hurt and agony that I feel, will end. So for now I will do my best to "Put all frustrations, hurt feelings and grumblings into the perspective of [my] eternal hope." so that "Light will flow into [my] soul."

Unfortunately, it is insanely difficult right now to keep this at the for front of my mind. While on the one hand, I know what Elder Busche is saying is true, I cannot help but be overwhelmed with the exhaustion and sadness that comes from giving up something/someone that I long to have.

I want to do what is right...but it is difficult to do what is right when the line between the two is not clear...when the difference between right and wrong is not black at white, at least not on an emotional level.

We are emotional creatures...does perfection mean that we become emotionless? Is that how God manages to "choose the right" all the time? I don't believe that, but I'm so unable to grasp the idea of a world in which my emotions will not always get the better of me...or rather, and perhaps more correctly...grasp the idea of a world in which I will NOT be attracted to girls.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)