Hmmmmmm...I know I want to write something...I know I am feeling a lot of emotions right now...but I am suffering from severe writers block.
I am not really feeling the holidays right now. Thanksgiving was fine...spent it with family....it was fun...but I was struggling to keep up a facade of happiness. It gets wearing after a while. I just feel very numb.
29 November 2008
07 November 2008
Propostion 8
This is a difficult topic for me. I have struggled with recent events. I've talked with my mom and dad about, with other family members as well as friends. Because of my own feelings, my attraction to girls...I ache for those who share my same attraction to have the lives that they desire...but pulling at me so intensely, reverberating to my very core are my beliefs in the gospel. Today the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has put out a few statements regarding the issue. In fact, long before Prop 8 the Church put out what could be referred to as a statement of sorts...or rather...to use the words of the church leaders...a proclamation. In August of 2008 an in depth article regarding the sanctity of marriage was released further explaining why the Church was taking such a vested interest in this issue. I have read both of these. I have always taken a strong stand when it comes to the sanctity of marriage.
One day back in 2004 while talking to Allyson I told her very firmly that marriage was ordained of God and was between a man and woman. I have never seen words have such a physical effect on someone, as they did on Allyson that day. Looking my best friend, a girl I had loved...still loved...still love (though in a different way)...watching her be so hurt by my beliefs...that struck me to the core and I knew right then and there that I better be damned sure that it was what I truly believed. I have spent the last four years reaffirming that faith. And though that faith is being tested now by all the power that the adversary has, I still am firm in my belief that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, that the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints regarding marriage, regarding the family, the role of men and women both as individuals and as married, sealed couples, is true, unchanging, and is that which will bring the greatest blessings and protection in these unstable and trying times.
It is not easy for me to say these things...knowing full well that if I were ever to have a girl friend, I would still want a family, still want to be married...but I couldn't...as I have mentioned before. Knowing that so many out there who are attracted to those of the same sex, who want to be married, live their lives in peace, contribute to the world, raise children, be all around good people...it hurts me to say to them...to you...that no, I don't believe that you should have the right to be married. That is not easy for me...but marriage-between a man and a woman-is ordained of God. You may say that He is not your god, and you may feel that way...but He is indeed your God, my God...our Father in Heaven. He is our creator...He loves us...He knows what he is doing...He is preparing us for such a greater life than this.
What I DO believe is that civil rights should in NO WAY AT ALL be tied to marriage. In fact what I do believe in is privatizing marriage. The government should have ZERO say in what defines a marriage...REGARDLESS of that definition...whether I agree with it or not. Marriage is a religious institution, NOT a public or federal one.
One day back in 2004 while talking to Allyson I told her very firmly that marriage was ordained of God and was between a man and woman. I have never seen words have such a physical effect on someone, as they did on Allyson that day. Looking my best friend, a girl I had loved...still loved...still love (though in a different way)...watching her be so hurt by my beliefs...that struck me to the core and I knew right then and there that I better be damned sure that it was what I truly believed. I have spent the last four years reaffirming that faith. And though that faith is being tested now by all the power that the adversary has, I still am firm in my belief that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, that the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints regarding marriage, regarding the family, the role of men and women both as individuals and as married, sealed couples, is true, unchanging, and is that which will bring the greatest blessings and protection in these unstable and trying times.
It is not easy for me to say these things...knowing full well that if I were ever to have a girl friend, I would still want a family, still want to be married...but I couldn't...as I have mentioned before. Knowing that so many out there who are attracted to those of the same sex, who want to be married, live their lives in peace, contribute to the world, raise children, be all around good people...it hurts me to say to them...to you...that no, I don't believe that you should have the right to be married. That is not easy for me...but marriage-between a man and a woman-is ordained of God. You may say that He is not your god, and you may feel that way...but He is indeed your God, my God...our Father in Heaven. He is our creator...He loves us...He knows what he is doing...He is preparing us for such a greater life than this.
What I DO believe is that civil rights should in NO WAY AT ALL be tied to marriage. In fact what I do believe in is privatizing marriage. The government should have ZERO say in what defines a marriage...REGARDLESS of that definition...whether I agree with it or not. Marriage is a religious institution, NOT a public or federal one.
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