"People only see what is visible, measurable. God sees into the heart. He not only forgives our failures, He sees successes where no one else does - not even ourselves. Only God can give us credit for the angry words we did not speak, the temptations we resisted, the patience and gentleness little noticed and long forgotten by those around us. Just being human gives us value in His eyes, and trying to live with integrity makes us successful before Him. God redeems us from the sense and fear of failure because He sees us as no human eyes can see us. Some religions teach that God sees so clearly that He knows all our shameful thoughts and nasty secrets. I prefer to believe that God sees us so clearly that He knows better than anyone else our wounds and sorrows, the scars on our hearts from having wanted to do more and do better, and being told by the world that we never would." ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

11 May 2010

UGH

I'm getting so frustrated lately. I feel as if I'm losing my mind. My mom says that if I were to date girls it would mean that the gospel meant less to me...it doesn't mean less to me...but it hurts. It hurts watching girls walk by...girls who I could be asking out...girls I could be getting to know...holding hands with...a girl who I could love who would love me back. I know that the gospel is true...I know it. But I feel like those words are empty because I can't seem to focus on them...to keep my focus on the gospel. It is always there, the gospel...rising in the east and setting in the west...so is my attraction to girls. Always rising in the east and setting in the west...I feel like a broken record. Perhaps I will quite writing until I find something else to say. Something positive and uplifting...instead of whiny and frustrated. ugh! Ugh! UGH!
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