"People only see what is visible, measurable. God sees into the heart. He not only forgives our failures, He sees successes where no one else does - not even ourselves. Only God can give us credit for the angry words we did not speak, the temptations we resisted, the patience and gentleness little noticed and long forgotten by those around us. Just being human gives us value in His eyes, and trying to live with integrity makes us successful before Him. God redeems us from the sense and fear of failure because He sees us as no human eyes can see us. Some religions teach that God sees so clearly that He knows all our shameful thoughts and nasty secrets. I prefer to believe that God sees us so clearly that He knows better than anyone else our wounds and sorrows, the scars on our hearts from having wanted to do more and do better, and being told by the world that we never would." ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

22 March 2009

burn...

The burn came after the crash...in fact...I think I am still burning...but the flames are tempering, and the heat is becoming more bearable...well...sometimes...sometimes it is seemingly unrealistically unbearable...and then other times I simply feel numb. Numb to the good. Numb to the bad. It is at times, like walking around in a fog, or looking through a fogged mirror. And perhaps the burn isn't become more bearable...I truly do NOT think it is cooling...I think it may be getting hotter, but perhaps my ability to bear the burn is increasing...maybe that is what the numbness is...bearability...I hope so...if not that means that the numbness is more or less my apathy setting in and I DO NOT want to be apathetic about this.

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