"People only see what is visible, measurable. God sees into the heart. He not only forgives our failures, He sees successes where no one else does - not even ourselves. Only God can give us credit for the angry words we did not speak, the temptations we resisted, the patience and gentleness little noticed and long forgotten by those around us. Just being human gives us value in His eyes, and trying to live with integrity makes us successful before Him. God redeems us from the sense and fear of failure because He sees us as no human eyes can see us. Some religions teach that God sees so clearly that He knows all our shameful thoughts and nasty secrets. I prefer to believe that God sees us so clearly that He knows better than anyone else our wounds and sorrows, the scars on our hearts from having wanted to do more and do better, and being told by the world that we never would." ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

17 September 2009

A visit with Grey

For the next week, and the last two days I will be/have been at Grey's house. As I pulled up to her house the other day, I was kind of nervous about how my visit would be received. I knew she was ok with me coming because we've been talking on the phone for the last two and half months...but I couldn't help but wonder/worry that she was just being nice...because she is one of the most genuine, and kind people I know...she has a difficult time saying "no". I should have known better though...she has NEVER had a problem saying "no" to me :) As I got out of the car, we both ran to hug each other and it was probably one of the best days I've had this year! I knew right then that it was definitely ok that I had come to see her.

Being here with Grey...it is as if we've never been apart. I'm not sure how to describe it...I know I've been absent for a while from her life, but it just doesn't feel like it. It feels like we're still 17 years old and in high school...although we both look a little older...not much though...and she has two kids, and I have the additional weight of two children...but other than that, it is all the same. I think that is such a wonderful compliment to our friendship. In talking with a couple of Grey's friends from here I have been able to see that the friendship that we have is just as important and significant to her as it is to me...that has made my year...even my life!

I'm so truly grateful for Grey, for her compassion, and charity...for her tenderness and patience. She is one of my greatest examples of Christ-like love and to have to opportunity to be around it for a week is very...empowering...being around this person who sees me for, not who I am, but who I can be, who I will be...who sees me the way my Father in Heaven sees me...this person who rivals me in her ability to be a friend...it has given me strength to go back to my life at home and continue to battle with the adversary...but with a new found resilience and strength to be the person I know that I need to be.
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