"People only see what is visible, measurable. God sees into the heart. He not only forgives our failures, He sees successes where no one else does - not even ourselves. Only God can give us credit for the angry words we did not speak, the temptations we resisted, the patience and gentleness little noticed and long forgotten by those around us. Just being human gives us value in His eyes, and trying to live with integrity makes us successful before Him. God redeems us from the sense and fear of failure because He sees us as no human eyes can see us. Some religions teach that God sees so clearly that He knows all our shameful thoughts and nasty secrets. I prefer to believe that God sees us so clearly that He knows better than anyone else our wounds and sorrows, the scars on our hearts from having wanted to do more and do better, and being told by the world that we never would." ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

10 June 2010

in patience and in diligence

There are days (very recent ones in fact) when I just want to give up "the good fight".  I would rather lie in my bed all day, than a face a world of struggle.  I find myself doubting my strength and ability to go on...and yet...I do...not always in the easiest, or prettiest, or even smartest way...but I do go on.  And sometimes it is for myself, and sometimes it is for the mere fact that I do not want to disappoint those I love.  I want to believe that I will always strive to "fight the good fight and finish the course"...but it so often feels like a losing battle.  But mine is not to live a perfect life...no one's is...only our Savior's.  Ours is to endure with patience and diligence...for this the path to perfection.


"Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich.
Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.”  Ultimately, patience means being “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord” every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so. 
Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls.   Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to “continue in patience until ye are perfected."
                                                                                                       ~Dieter F Uchtdorf




Lately I've found myself so absorbed with my struggles, my frustration, my hurt...just with myself in general (I believe the word is self-absorbed) that I've failed to see all that is happen around me while I'm trying to work through it all.  I've been so hell bent on getting answers, finding a solution, seeing an end, that I've completely ignored the blessings and strength, inspiration and insight that is all around me as I struggle.  While Daniel waited in the lion's den, he did not spend his time fretting over lions...he trusted in the Lord and continued to pray and the Lord blessed him in return sending angels to calm the lions.  I'd forgotten...well, if I being honest...I'd stopped believing in the Lord's love for me...and in forgetting Him, I've forgotten his promises, forgotten that He will not let me down...that there will be angels to bear me up and calm the lions in my life when I need them.


So with a renewed hope, and a spark of desire I pick myself up by my boot straps and continue along the path, clinging to the rod of iron until my knuckles are white.  It is inevitable that I will fall again, that I will simply stop and sit down of my own accord...but I will get up again.  I will remember that it is diligence for which I am striving...not perfection.

No comments: