Pride...and not the kind you have a parade for.

I'm going to preface this post with a warning that it contradicts my previous 90210 post.  I may know the gospel principles but unfortunately I don't always apply them in my life.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. ~Ether 12:27

My weaknesses are given so that I may become humble.  Humility is something that I feel I've been sorely lacking lately.  Perhaps this will turn a few readers off...but lately I've been really struggling with my pride.  Not the "I'm better than you because I'm awesome and have more than you kind of pride"...more a "from the bottom up" kind of pride that I once hears Spencer W Kimball speak about (now I can't find the reference).  I listened to Elder Scott recently interview a married couple and was filled with disdain for the couple and pride in myself, as they discussed how they counsel together and with the Lord to work through disagreements in their relationship.  The disdain wasn't specifically aimed at that issue...more at the fact that they were married and HAD someone to counsel with over struggles in their relationship.  I sat there thinking..."I do this alone.  I don't have anyone to counsel with for help."  

Reading that now is laughable.  A) Because it is prideful and ridiculous and B) because I DO, indeed, have someone to counsel with.  I might not be sealed for time and all eternity, nor am I married civilly, nor am I even in a relationship.  However, I have parents and siblings, I have friends...and most importantly...I do have the Savior and my Father in Heaven...and their counsel is the best around.

Last night I was speaking with a friend and we were talking about struggles, frustrations, weaknesses, etc... and how they give us reason to turn to the Lord...and as it says in Ether...when we do that those things that are weak unto us...He can make them strengths unto us.  I've seen it in my own life...on a daily basis.

I'm grateful that despite my pride, my Father in Heaven still blesses me...that the Atonement is there so that I can leave that pride with the Lord.  Some days seem to drag on...and this life feels like it is a never ending battle...but I am working towards an end goal...a happy ending, if you will:

"A happy end...that's a bit of a tall order for everyday. I mean ultimately, sure, you want to end happily. But at the same time, who wants to end? Either you're happy and ended or you're not quite happy and at least still living...

That's where I have to find consolation...in the fact that I'm still living....a day to day...hour to hour...breath to breath...just living."  ~Little Happy Secrets

The speaker in the play acknowledges that her statement is a fairly literal take on happy endings...but I can relate to exactly what she is saying...many times I've said that choosing the gospel is a  daily, hourly and sometimes minute by minute choice.  And I don't always make the right choice.  But I do find comfort in the fact that whether humbled or prideful my Savior, His Atonement and my Father in Heaven...they are always there for me...they don't give up on me.  It is much easier to hear their counsel when I am humble...and as you now know...I'm not always filled with humility...but I still take comfort in knowing that even with my nose turned up at others...they do not turn their noses up at me...or their backs on me.  Their arms are always open waiting for me to turn my heart to them.