"People only see what is visible, measurable. God sees into the heart. He not only forgives our failures, He sees successes where no one else does - not even ourselves. Only God can give us credit for the angry words we did not speak, the temptations we resisted, the patience and gentleness little noticed and long forgotten by those around us. Just being human gives us value in His eyes, and trying to live with integrity makes us successful before Him. God redeems us from the sense and fear of failure because He sees us as no human eyes can see us. Some religions teach that God sees so clearly that He knows all our shameful thoughts and nasty secrets. I prefer to believe that God sees us so clearly that He knows better than anyone else our wounds and sorrows, the scars on our hearts from having wanted to do more and do better, and being told by the world that we never would." ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

06 October 2010

some thoughts

this morning my brother emailed me asking what all the fuss was surrounding Elder Packer's talk that he gave during the Sunday morning session of General Conference.  As I said in my previous post I would listen to it again and think about it.  I have listened to it again...a few more times actually.  Below is my response to him, to everyone.

You know I have listened to that talk about five times since Sunday.  Funny thing is...the first time around it didn't really bother me other than one comment...and I talked to mom about it and then it didn't bother me anymore.

I'm not really sure why everyone is up in arms.  I thought at first it was because he was so direct and blunt...he wasn't really "showing the love"  :)  I told a friend that maybe it is because his voice is so gruff that people thought he was mad or something ;)  In all seriousness, he was very direct and blunt and it would have been nice to hear a "we love you" at the end...especially when in the last few months there have been at least four suicides reported of kids (11-18) who were bullied about being gay...I think that is where some of the outrage lies...a little bit anyway.  

But in the end what it comes down to is that people are upset because they disagree with him.  And despite all the calling for acceptance, I am sad to say that I think acceptance doesn't always exist...on either side of the argument.  All those outraged by this, gay or straight, are ignoring the fact that Elder Packer is speaking from his own frame of reference...which is a belief that gay marriage, homosexuality, any sexual impurity, pornography, etc... is wrong (because he was talking about all of them in his talk, not just about gay marriage or homosexuality).  That is what he believes, that is what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believes.  They (the outraged) fail to see that the core of the belief does not lie in hatred...but rather in teachings of right and wrong of the LDS church.  

People who are upset are basically calling for the LDS church to change their core beliefs.  That is just NEVER going to happen.  Because marriage will always be the sealing of one man to one woman.  I know that is true.  I have no doubt that it is.  But does it make it easier to hear?  Actually... a little bit it does...but it still hurts me for so many gay people who just want to live their lives their own way with the person they love...it hurts me for me sometimes.  But lots of things in life hurt everyone.  I don't blame anyone for wanting to be married...I think it is a fairly inborn desire...considering it is a bedrock of the plan of salvation...our spirits know it is the right thing to do...unfortunately...there are those of us out there who would rather marry someone of our same sex...and that, sadly, is NOT part of the bedrock of our eternal salvation.  And believe me...there are SOOOO many days where I wish it was.  But it isn't.  The gospel is true and therein is where I find strength.

As I have listened to his talk, over and over again...I cannot find anything to be upset about.  He spoke the truth.  He was straight (no pun intended) forward making no apologies.  I was grateful for Elder Eyring's talk at the beginning of that same session.  (He spoke on his faith and trust in the Lord's chosen apostles and prophets-in case you forgot.  I've listened to that one a few times as well).  That topic, Elder Eyring's words, they were truly inspired.  Perhaps I would have felt differently about Elder Packer's talk had I not listened to Elder Eyring's.  I don't know.  What I do know is that I believe the gospel is true and that were I to ever choose another path, it would be in the face of what I know to be true.  I would have to figure out a way to overcome the sorrow of choosing a path of "not all truth" because the gospel would never change in it's truthfulness.  It is true.  It is that ultimate truth that Elder Packer was talking about.  Gay marriage, whether legal or not, is never going to be ok just because man says it is.  A vote does not change the laws of God.

Not a day goes by that at some point, I don't wish that things were different.  Not a day goes by that I don't consider stepping away from the gospel and living my life differently. But I haven't yet...and perhaps I never will.  That seems like it would be a long lonely life...and I don't know if I have the will power to live my life without someone I love to share it with...but for now I have wonderful friends, a kick-ass family and belief in a loving and all knowing Father in Heaven.

To listen to Elder Packer's and Elder Eyring's talks in their entirety click here


“I have heard the calls for change in our church’s policy on this subject. I have read Carol Lynn Pearson’s books and wept as I read them. I don’t think the evolution of our policies will go as far as many would like. Rather I think the evolution will be one of better understanding. I believe our concept of marriage is part of the bedrock of our doctrine and will not change. I believe our policy will continue to be that gay members of the Church must remain celibate. However, I want you to know that as a result of being with you this morning, my aversion to homophobia has grown. I know that many very good people have been deeply hurt, and I know that the Lord expects better of us.”
Marlin K Jensen

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